When asked for directions, goes the old joke, the local has a long think and then tells the enquirer “If I were you I wouldn’t start from here.” It’s the same for writing copy.
The truth is us Brits are terribly polite (most of the time).So our brief says we need to get the reader to donate. And then we spend the first few paragraphs shyly introducing ourselves, and the marvellous line “I hope you’ll forgive me writing to you like this” will often make its appearance. Several apologies later we’ll finally get to the point and actually ask for the money.
Even after years of writing copy I suffer from this affliction. But I’ve also found the cure. Start your copy the way you’re most comfortable with. Do your circumlocutions and your evasions until you’re ready to get to your ask. Carry on until you’ve finished.
And then go back to the start and mercilessly delete everything before the ask. This is usually around halfway down the first page.
You’re left with a somewhat abrupt opening, of course. This is a Good Thing and if you’ve been following these blogs, it means you’re now focused on the people most likely to respond. But you need a ‘link’ phrase to take your reader from the blunt ask to the story itself.
The best one is “Why am I asking for your support? Let me explain.” Now you can detail the reasons why that support will make a difference.
Take a look at your current control and get busy with the delete key. You’ll be surprised at the difference this can make. And it leaves more room to tell the story. Too long? Don’t miss the next blog, coming soon.